I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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