His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Boobs speak an international language.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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