was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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