I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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