I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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