life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I will be naked everywhere
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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