she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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