i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
