Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize