Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
