i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
