So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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