Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
