Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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