Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
