there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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