I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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