I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
50% drunk capacity currently
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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