Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
