I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
