so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
