Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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