duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
