the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
