Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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