Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
