So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
