Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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