Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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