just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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