My brain says no but my pants say off.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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