I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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