conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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