About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
