She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
