Say something about gay babies.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
