i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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