I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
