god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
nutella sex= disaster
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
