Me too!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
