You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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