Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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