I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
