you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
