Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
