Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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