Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
