you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
