Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
