I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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