Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
