fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
