Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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