So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize