I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
