dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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