Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
