I cockslap morals
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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