im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
